oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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