I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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