Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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