Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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