smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
