it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
