A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Randomize
