I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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