So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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