In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Small penises have feelings too.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
