she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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