well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
