I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Apparently you make a good broom.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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