you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
