so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
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i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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