Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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