Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
ugly people sure do ruin things
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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