i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I can text with my tongue
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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