Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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