biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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