How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Randomize
