anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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