i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
