i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
