Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Come see our sink grown plant.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
