I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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