addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
