WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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