Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Your cock deserves a montage
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize