Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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