if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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