Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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