If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
