Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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