Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I need a burrito and a hug.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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