Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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