Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
