did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
