6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
