12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
How external is "for external use only"?
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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