...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
How's work?
Spinning.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
