to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
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