She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
