I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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