You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.