Texts From Last Night

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  (760): View more from California

  i don't like sucking hair

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  (760): i don't like sucking hair http://tfl.nu/yq6x
  Replies (4) Good night (715) Bad night (1489)
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  (212): View more from New York

  so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.

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  (212): so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is. http://tfl.nu/r3y5
  Replies (8) Good night (909) Bad night (1527)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"

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  (574): We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?" http://tfl.nu/lg4y
  Replies (20) Good night (1145) Bad night (5834)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?

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  (504): she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud? http://tfl.nu/6q2n
  Replies (30) Good night (9177) Bad night (1288)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."

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  (832): We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College." http://tfl.nu/3hlg
  Replies (11) Good night (8328) Bad night (1105)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.

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  (610): Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card. http://tfl.nu/uepf
  Replies (12) Good night (4539) Bad night (928)
• Favorite

  (830): View more from Texas

  I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.

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  (830): I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won. http://tfl.nu/nmjn
  Replies (20) Good night (3180) Bad night (1313)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.

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  (443): You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them. http://tfl.nu/l1v8
  Replies (2) Good night (1376) Bad night (617)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together

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  (216): Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together http://tfl.nu/si4s
  Replies (2) Good night (1389) Bad night (746)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Order is debatable

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  (410): Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy (410): Order is debatable http://tfl.nu/gozm
  Replies (6) Good night (1448) Bad night (651)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.

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  (931): I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds. http://tfl.nu/alhy
  Replies (1) Good night (1007) Bad night (538)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  just woke up under a car ? That's odd

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Holy fucking shit

  (845): View more from New York

  WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT

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  (845): just woke up under a car ? That's odd (603): Holy fucking shit (845): WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT http://tfl.nu/jvxr
  Replies (8) Good night (3283) Bad night (623)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay

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  (519): Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay http://tfl.nu/j10h
  Replies (4) Good night (2476) Bad night (523)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  151 hangover. Need apocalypse.

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  (330): 151 hangover. Need apocalypse. http://tfl.nu/xu7i
  Replies (3) Good night (1058) Bad night (507)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?

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  (908): I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax? http://tfl.nu/w375
  Replies (2) Good night (562) Bad night (331)

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