You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Randomize
