Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO

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  (847): HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO http://tfl.nu/vpr1
  Replies (34) Good night (3111) Bad night (1143)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.

  (1-206): View more from Washington

  You are nothing if not reliable.

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  (206): I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different. (1-206): You are nothing if not reliable. http://tfl.nu/5ioj
  Replies (11) Good night (5315) Bad night (1824)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.

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  (864): We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger. http://tfl.nu/jvyn
  Replies (3) Good night (1906) Bad night (612)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure

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  (413): you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure http://tfl.nu/kagu
  Replies (6) Good night (3504) Bad night (764)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?

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  (814): I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls? http://tfl.nu/unf7
  Replies (8) Good night (1759) Bad night (788)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?

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  (508): wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer? http://tfl.nu/zgl0
  Replies (11) Good night (1394) Bad night (864)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant

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  (604): With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant http://tfl.nu/nhig
  Replies (5) Good night (671) Bad night (1318)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil

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  (507): I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil http://tfl.nu/ueg4
  Replies (7) Good night (1023) Bad night (1754)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.

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  (309): But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something. http://tfl.nu/dcqe
  Replies (2) Good night (808) Bad night (383)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.

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  (571): You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow. http://tfl.nu/1kas
  Replies (5) Good night (1266) Bad night (532)
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  (916): View more from California

  I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.

  (831): View more from California

  Promise??

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  (916): I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird. (831): Promise?? http://tfl.nu/1nt5
  Replies (3) Good night (802) Bad night (642)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?

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  (507): Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at? http://tfl.nu/qw84
  Replies (7) Good night (699) Bad night (478)
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  (619): View more from California

  You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch

  (1-619): View more from California

  Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.

  (619): View more from California

  Love you...

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  (619): You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch (1-619): Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you. (619): Love you... http://tfl.nu/dldo
  Replies (1) Good night (642) Bad night (579)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?

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  (519): Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night? http://tfl.nu/rvm4
  Replies (2) Good night (521) Bad night (388)
• Favorite

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister

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  (763): I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister http://tfl.nu/vfep
  Replies (3) Good night (383) Bad night (151)

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