What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Randomize
