Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn