Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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