she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
