So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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