wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize