tonight lets celebrate not being married
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
