OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
