tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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