i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
