i think my tv is drunk
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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