Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
