he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
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I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
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Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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