im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Randomize
