We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
