Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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