Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
