i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
