i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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